An angel appearing to Joseph in dream would not have seemed unusual to him, or to the ancient Israelites (Mt. 1:20). Scripture records many such dreams as a means of divine communication and prophecy. For example, the First Book of Kings records the dream of Solomon wherein he receives wisdom from God (1 Kings 3:12). Genesis describes the dream of Joseph, the beloved son of Jacob, whose dream was about his own fate and that of his family before being sold into slavery by his brothers (Gen 37:5-11). Matthew records the dream of the wise men who are warned to take a different route home to avoid the danger posed by Herod (Mt 2:12).
Foiled by the Magi, Herod does not let up. For that reason, soon after the birth of Jesus, Joseph receives a second dream instructing him to flee with his family to Egypt to avoid the violence of Herod. Yes, Mary, Joseph and Jesus were indeed refugees like the many refugees of today who must flee their homes for safety reasons. In any case, the dreams recorded in scripture were meant to prepare the dreamer for action, and preparation is the heart of every Advent season.
Before Joseph has his first dream, however, he becomes aware that Mary is pregnant. How he becomes aware of that the story does not reveal, but his awareness brings about a difficult dilemma for him. The Mosaic Law requires that he now renounce his promise of marriage to Mary because of her apparent infidelity. He has two options in that regard. He can do so in a very public manner that exposes Mary to public scorn, humiliation, and possibly even death by stoning as prescribed by the Law. Or, the alternative provides that Joseph give Mary a discreet bill of divorce that avoids such dreadful consequences. Because he is compassionate and merciful, Joseph chooses the latter option and plans to divorce Mary in a private manner.
Mary also faces a difficult time of decision. Because she is an unmarried woman and pregnant, she is aware of the likely threatening consequences that will come about by accepting the proposal delivered by Gabriel. Such consequences include a humiliating bill of divorce from Joseph and the ultimate possibility of death by stoning. We know how Mary courageously faced these adverse consequences to become the mother of Jesus. Her consent expresses her profound faith and trust in the Lord.
Ironically, the way Joseph initially chooses to resolve his own dilemma would have helped Mary resolve her situation in a satisfactory manner as well. Before Joseph carries out his decision, however, lo and behold, an angel of the Lord appears to him in a dream. The angel reassures him about his original marriage plans with Mary, which is enough for Joseph. Although he cannot foresee the full consequences of following the inspiration of the Lord, Joseph sets aside his personal judgement and fear to comply with the angel’s instruction.
Like Mary, Joseph places his trust in the Lord and goes against the grain of public opinion to do the right thing—follow the right road—despite the hardship that such a choice will bring about for him. His response mirrors the faith and trust that Mary places in the Lord. Their story of faith and trust in the Lord despite the consequences is an ancient story that we commemorate and celebrate in a special way on Christmas day and throughout the season.
Given the way we have idealized and romanticized their story, however, we tend to overlook the difficult challenges Mary and Joseph had to endure and resolve. For one, at serious stake for both is their intimate relationships and reputation with family and friends. These relationships could easily deteriorate and turn ugly, or cease altogether, depending on how others viewed their decisions. The same holds true with respect to their standing in their faith community. Indeed, their personal identities—how they saw themselves and how others understood them—could, and most likely would be altered forever by the decisions they made. Indeed, their entire spiritual fate is at stake. The unavoidable degree of fear and unimaginable difficulty Mary and Joseph must have endured in their situation are important but often overlooked aspects of their story that offer inspiration for us today.
In fact, Mary and Joseph are iconic examples of how to resolve any conflict and do the right thing. How they faced the fear and anxiety of unexpected challenges with family, friends, and community offers inspiration to all those in difficult situations. This is especially true for those who are poor, homeless, refugees, immigrants, and those who must flee their homes for safety reasons. Mary and Joseph also offer support and encouragement for those who must deal with painful stress and unavoidable disruptions in family life.
Most of us find inspiration in the story of Mary and Joseph because we see ourselves as independent agents willing to go against the grain of public opinion to do the right thing. We pride ourselves on our determination to live by our humanitarian values in helping the poor and homeless, for example, despite the fact that we too can be a fearful people. But, sometimes our fear leads us instead to protect ourselves by rejecting, shunning, and ostracizing those who are different from us—any person or group that does not fit our view of the world and our purpose in it.
Sometimes, we add ridicule and condemnation to further separate ourselves from those who are different. The many recent violent attacks against minority groups of one kind or another is one hideous example of how fear sometimes ignites a violent response to that which is different. This contradiction in values and the underlying fear that often motivates a distasteful and dreadful response is what the dream of Joseph is all about.
For that reason, the way in which Joseph ultimately resolves his conflict provides a message of hope and guidance for us today. Although Joseph’s first response is to let public opinion and fear drive his choice to quietly divorce Mary, he ultimately puts his total trust in the Lord. With courage, he follows a new path of love and compassion. If he looks like a sinner, so be it. Joseph had a conflict of values that he resolved by placing his trust in the Lord; likewise for Mary.
We can do the same. We can hand ourselves over to the Holy Spirit. We can place our trust in the Lord and allow him to guide and inspire our choices, especially those choices that are difficult and possibly disruptive to our daily routines. And, like Joseph and Mary, we can be sure of the outcome. Joseph’s dream and his decisions echo the ancient proverb, “Trust in the Lord in all things” (Prov 3:5). Like Joseph and Mary, we can be confident that the Lord works all things to the good for those who love him (Rm 8:28). Let their inspiration and trust in the Lord be the heart of our Advent and Christmas celebration.